well~~

its her i've been thinking lately~
i jst feel her around~~
eventhought she is not in kk~~
but i can feel her presents every where~~

maybe is because i promise her to bring her to some of that places~~
then i feel the felling she is there~

last few days~~
she finally keep a sentence from me~
"i will wait until you are in the mood of loving"

i don't care how long it takes~~
i don't care any obstacle is in front of me...
i will fight with the time~~
i will tackle down the obstacle~~~

where there is a will , there is a way~~
i wish i don't break this relationship again~~~

my heart will go on for you~~~
and i don't wanna lose a thing from you~~
with a pure heart~~
no black lies~

pure white with sincere~~~
word with fresh shed blood with promise attach~~

i won't spill my blood for other girls~~~
but only for you~~~~


my love~

these few days

these few days...
i met a girl~
i have add her for a long in facebook....
but i find her back~~

well...
the first time when i add her in face book~~~
i have started to like her....

until these few days....
get to know her more....

i am happy for all this now....
but in the same time....
i felt a sadness coming in~~~
i don't know why~~~

i just hope that she can give me chance...
even if we can't make it....

at least we ever try to get together~~~
i know this may make her feel too fast...

but its been a while~~~
just that time i don't have the courage to say it~

and now i have said it...
hopefully it will became into reality~~

think back

with blink of eye~~~
it have been passed 20 years~~~
time is so fast~~
and now i am 21 years old~~~

think back all the memories~~
it makes you
sad
happy
angry
make you think that it is stupid~~

memories should not have been forgotten~
but to keep it~~
you can learn things from it~~

i still remember when i was kid~~
my dad came back from doing work~~
i used to wait for him at the door~~
waiting for him to return back home~

in primary school~~
often to get some things from my dad~~
what i ask for~~
shall be granted~~

secondary school~~
got in to a fight when i was 13~~
my dad din't blame me for fighting~~
he just stare at me~~
with eye that you can't explain with words~~

social life year~
got a first job ever~~
work as a newbie in car accessories
got a fair pay~~~
gave my dad rm100 that time~~
and my mum Rm100
left quite a low sum for my own use~~~

few years passed
found a girl i like~~
but end in a undefined way~~
became a drinker
smoker
hot tempered~~

collage life~~
learn the meaning of life~~
building a future for my own~~
live life in a happy way~~

all these thing that happen through my life
i will keep them as a memory~~
does'nt care if its good or bad~~~
i just keep it~~
for the rest of my life~~

time to time~

time to time~
we pass by our daily life by doing own things
do what is important to us..
or maybe important to someone...

we always say that~~
"we don't have much time left"

think it back~~
if you are using your time to do on some thing that is important to you
will you say it is not enough time?
for sure you say no...
because that your time~~
but
did you ever think of other people's time?


we all have enough time
just that you need to know how to arrange your time~

people's say~~
life is short
but how short it is?

enjoy life to the fullest
what is the limit to the fullest?

we all can live the way we wanted~
depend on yourself~~~
goes by time to time~~~

do something right at the right time makes perfect~~
don't get confuse by the surroundings
do it before its too late to take it back~~
cherish the time you have now~~~
do the right decision
make the right move~~
then




by that time~~~



enjoy and live to the fullest of your life~~~~
and life won't be short~~~

feelings

i don't know what's happening to me right now
but i just feel like crying~

its a shame huh~~
for a big guy like me to cry

i just don't know what happened to me this few days
am i becoming weaker?
am i being piss off?
i don't know

this feeling i try to tell every one~
but i just can't open my mouth~

may i am over stress~
or maybe for some reason that i don't know~
but why does this feeling is keep within me?
why can't i share it out~?
why?

i just really wish that someone can be by my side now~
even for just 5 minutes~~~~






never the less
i am a crap ~
rubbish~
useless guy~~~
nothing special~

it is possible?

is it possible?
to be rich~
to be famous
to be loved

all that is possible~
but the hardest to archive is
to be loved~
why?

when you became rich~
you will have the things you wanted~

when you became famous~
you will be known by everyone~

when you are being love~~
they all love you because you are famous of wealth~

the truth love that you seek won't be found
because~
what they love is your money and fame~~
so they can go act as a fame people~
the fact is~
they are using the name of ~~
"Fame And Wealthy"
but~
do you think they really love you?

No....
they don't
they love you~
love your money
love you because you are famous and well known

if~~
one day~
your Fame and Wealth is gone~~
you try to ask them~
"do you love me?"

a simple answer will do the job~
"no~~because you are broke and being pissed off"

that's the reality of materialistic

its better to be rich and fame at~~
"Rich in knowledge"
"Famous for kindness"
when the time comes
the true that you are seeking for~~


will jump out and show itself~~
Right infront of you~
that is what you will get~~

love~~
is just a feeling~
you can force some feelings~
like~
being mad~
being sad~
being happy~


but~
the feeling of being loved~
or falling in love~~
is hard for you to pretend~

you show yourself in lack of love~
but it doesn't work~~
why?

people will not like that feeling
it feels like you are some how begging for love~
begging for love~
won't do any good to you and other~
its better for you let the feeling come by itself~~
no force needed~
just give it time~~
eventually
LOVE WILL COME AND FIND YOU~~

we often to hear~~
that family is the heart of a perfect house
but one the family is broken~~
house collapse~
family~~

its fun have little brother's to play with~~
little sister's to care with~~
older brother to chat with~~
older sister to help on studies with~~~

every one say "the only child"
is the best~~
but if you look from the only child eyes~~
you will see a different world~~
no brother's
no sister's
all alone~~
with only parents to be with~~
what they want?
A true family..
with brother's and sister's~
so they can feel the true felling of a family~
the only can depend on future~~

depend on~
friends
soul mate~
maybe husband/wife
but...
is that enough?
if they don't have much friends
who they will depend on?
soul mate~
are they lucky enough to have one?
husband/wife
what if they din 't get the chance to get married?

to whom they depend on?
"Depend on them self"

what he/she request~~
won't be hard to archive~
step by step~
work independent~~
someday it will turn out~~~
he is the best~



how do i know this feeling?
because i am "the only child"