its been a while again~~~
march is going soon
and april is coming soon~~
a month that i should be happy...


i hope that she will come say happy birthday to me~~
and i hope she is the first 1 to say so~~
haiz~~

i really hope that its going to come true




class started few months already.....
although this is my last semester study...
fell like wanna let pass by fast...
but then again~
i want the time to go slow....




feeling inside me i can't say....
happy?
sad?
anger?
i don't know~
i really don't know


i just myself very useless

another useless crap that you can see through out the streets~~~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIt6KCwlFPw

^^

she today find me first^^
i feel happy that she find me^^

hehe^
well

i just told her that
i've giving her abit secure and tell her
how stupid i am~

she din't say anything back to me about that

but i kinda feel her answer is
that~

i am stupid~~~

well girl~~

i am stupid~~
stupid for you only~~

for you~~
i leave behine every thing~

just only for you~~~

you said you want time to recover from your pain~~

i give you time~~
and i will take my time~~

to built that confidence for chasing you~~
i will never give up~~

never will~~~

until you break my bones and make fall again~~

and that's when i really leave you and
be your friend~

i hope that you will see this blog~~~
i really hope it will become true~~

nothing special

this few days~~~
i sometime feel sad~~
some time sad~~
don't know why~~
is this what they call emo?

i don't know~
just feel very annoyed~

job stress?
impossible~~
i don't even have a job~~

studies?
maybe~~~~~


but what is it actually?



i really want to know~~

hmm~~

The time now is 00.32
which is Wedness day~~

2 days already~
i've been go and back from funeral parlour
because my uncle had pass away on monday morning~~
i dint went to class that day~~

i ask my friend to help to tell my lecturer~
for not attending class that day~

i am going to ask for another holiday for tomorrow
later i am going to take the form from my collage's admins


that day~~~
the first person i want to share it was "she"

i even called her wake up that day~~
i think she is mad for waking her her so early~

feel bad about it~

sorry girl~~
i just wanted you to gain back that confidence~
if i may~~


i'll be keep waiting for her~~

no matter how much it cost~

this few days....
i just want her to be my side...
no other people~~

just only her~~

only you girl~

well~~

its her i've been thinking lately~
i jst feel her around~~
eventhought she is not in kk~~
but i can feel her presents every where~~

maybe is because i promise her to bring her to some of that places~~
then i feel the felling she is there~

last few days~~
she finally keep a sentence from me~
"i will wait until you are in the mood of loving"

i don't care how long it takes~~
i don't care any obstacle is in front of me...
i will fight with the time~~
i will tackle down the obstacle~~~

where there is a will , there is a way~~
i wish i don't break this relationship again~~~

my heart will go on for you~~~
and i don't wanna lose a thing from you~~
with a pure heart~~
no black lies~

pure white with sincere~~~
word with fresh shed blood with promise attach~~

i won't spill my blood for other girls~~~
but only for you~~~~


my love~

these few days

these few days...
i met a girl~
i have add her for a long in facebook....
but i find her back~~

well...
the first time when i add her in face book~~~
i have started to like her....

until these few days....
get to know her more....

i am happy for all this now....
but in the same time....
i felt a sadness coming in~~~
i don't know why~~~

i just hope that she can give me chance...
even if we can't make it....

at least we ever try to get together~~~
i know this may make her feel too fast...

but its been a while~~~
just that time i don't have the courage to say it~

and now i have said it...
hopefully it will became into reality~~

think back

with blink of eye~~~
it have been passed 20 years~~~
time is so fast~~
and now i am 21 years old~~~

think back all the memories~~
it makes you
sad
happy
angry
make you think that it is stupid~~

memories should not have been forgotten~
but to keep it~~
you can learn things from it~~

i still remember when i was kid~~
my dad came back from doing work~~
i used to wait for him at the door~~
waiting for him to return back home~

in primary school~~
often to get some things from my dad~~
what i ask for~~
shall be granted~~

secondary school~~
got in to a fight when i was 13~~
my dad din't blame me for fighting~~
he just stare at me~~
with eye that you can't explain with words~~

social life year~
got a first job ever~~
work as a newbie in car accessories
got a fair pay~~~
gave my dad rm100 that time~~
and my mum Rm100
left quite a low sum for my own use~~~

few years passed
found a girl i like~~
but end in a undefined way~~
became a drinker
smoker
hot tempered~~

collage life~~
learn the meaning of life~~
building a future for my own~~
live life in a happy way~~

all these thing that happen through my life
i will keep them as a memory~~
does'nt care if its good or bad~~~
i just keep it~~
for the rest of my life~~