nothing special just feelings

This few days~
don't why mood will suddenly change
sometime happy~sometime sad
ans sometime angry~
don't why~~
mood disorder?

haiz~

most of my class in collage almost finish
waiting for exam
study sure got study a bit.

i feel like giving up study
and straight go work~

working on my Altec Lancing speakers
XD
with LEDs~~^^

quite nice^^
the only prob now is that
how to make in line?@@"
all tangled up~~><
a bit lazy to clean it@@"

wanted to buy a circuit board for the LED's
but~~
lazy to work on it~~
><



suddenly think back my Ex-girl friend~~
may wong
that i used to love and treasure before

although it was a short period of love~
1 1/2 years~~

it meant alot to me
the time when i cooked for her
buy medicine for her when she is sick
make the presents for her 17 year old birthday
i can't stop think about it

is this the reason why i can't afford to have a girl friend now?
its like~
i lost all my confidence to fall in love~
its not like i don't any girls
but..
when i like them
i like them as a friend~
it can be more than that
but i couldn't reach to that limit
its like something is blocking me
lack of confidence
4 years
for 4 years~
i've been lonely
except for friends and family~
i am lonely to myself~
i wish i could have someone with me now
sometimes
when i crawl up to my bed
i'll fall in tears

think back those memories
will drop me into a deep sea of tears

29/7/11

Today~~
dunno how to say~~
tired~
boring~
feel like dying~~~
just don't have mood~~
play com also no mood~~~
eat dinner also no mood><
whats wrong? WHATS WRONG?!




no friends ask me to go out today~
suppose to be that today go out for a drink or 2~
but no one called me~~
guess that no one come just now~~~
oh well~~~



SLEEP~~~~~><

yet another day pass~

well
lately i haven been what i used to be~
happy~
playful~
full of joy~~
i just dunno whats up with me~~
damn i hate this feeling~
not a even a single friend that is good enough to listen to my story~
is it really that hard to find a good friend to talk to?
i wish i was dead sometimes~
who cares?

birthday~~~

this year's birthday
its not like what should a birthday party should be

this year's party
just a simple friends gather around
at a cafe shop
chit-chatting
drinks
cakes


its not that glamorous
its not like i never have party before

all looks so simple
but in my eyes and heart


these friends is worth to keep

Christ
Christy
Ken
Jack Ya Zhe
Wei Chen
Lily Xiao Mei
Sherly Xiao Yee
Charmaine
Tony
Sharon
Brian Gan
Charlotte
Catherine Sing Sing
Alvin Yap
Moses Yee









the last is


Xiao Ching
the one i like








Thanks for you guys
you all made my day happy~~

Xiao Ching~
although you aren't here

i wish you will be~~

Right here by my side~

Love is a temporary madness.

It erupts like an earthquake and then subsides.

And when it subsides you have to make a decision.

You have to work out whether your roots have become so entwined together that it is inconceivable that you should ever part.

Because this is what love is.

Love is not breathlessness, it is not excitement, it is not the promulgation of promises of eternal passion.
That is just being "in love" which any of us can convince ourselves we are.

Love itself is what is left over when being in love has burned away, and this is both an art and a fortunate accident.

Your mother and I had it, we had roots that grew towards each other underground, and when all the pretty blossoms had fallen from our branches we found



that~~



we were one tree and not two

its been a while again~~~
march is going soon
and april is coming soon~~
a month that i should be happy...


i hope that she will come say happy birthday to me~~
and i hope she is the first 1 to say so~~
haiz~~

i really hope that its going to come true




class started few months already.....
although this is my last semester study...
fell like wanna let pass by fast...
but then again~
i want the time to go slow....




feeling inside me i can't say....
happy?
sad?
anger?
i don't know~
i really don't know


i just myself very useless

another useless crap that you can see through out the streets~~~

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qIt6KCwlFPw

^^

she today find me first^^
i feel happy that she find me^^

hehe^
well

i just told her that
i've giving her abit secure and tell her
how stupid i am~

she din't say anything back to me about that

but i kinda feel her answer is
that~

i am stupid~~~

well girl~~

i am stupid~~
stupid for you only~~

for you~~
i leave behine every thing~

just only for you~~~

you said you want time to recover from your pain~~

i give you time~~
and i will take my time~~

to built that confidence for chasing you~~
i will never give up~~

never will~~~

until you break my bones and make fall again~~

and that's when i really leave you and
be your friend~

i hope that you will see this blog~~~
i really hope it will become true~~